Martial Arts And Farts

How To Use Farting As A Learning Experience

by Roel van der Meulen (
written 04 Apr 1994

This article is classified "Real"

A public secret amongst the people who practice one kind or other of
Martial Art is that the uncomfortable and embarrassing feeling of a fart
coming up (down) occurs more often in the dojo that outside of it.

When the feeling is there it tends to seriously disrupt the unification
of mind and body.

There are two ways that can happen.  One is that you feel it coming and
try to prevent it from erupting so hard that you can't concentrate on
anything else, specifically the sensei or the partner you work with.  This
attempt to not fart will fail, as we all know.  You see, after a while
the second way for a fart to distort the unification of mind and body
will reveal itself and that is the fart itself coming out.  This always
takes place when delivering a kick, punch, or during another sudden
movement.  This is only prevented by sitting down and not moving until
very silently the methane has slipped out.  But people will wonder, and
then know, so the effect will be the same as farting aloud.  As said
before, during a motion of the body the gas will erupt in a disorderly
manner, causing you to focus on the entire dojo focusing on you.

This situation is best dealt with by turning it into a learning
experience.  The trick is to completely ignore the fart and the effects
it has on the people around you.  Let the world be the world without
affecting your inner peace.  The ability to ignore farts is in fact one
step further on the long road of unification of mind and body.  The
person who is able to disarm and eliminate a dangerous opponent and at
the same time fart without wincing a muscle is surely a master.

Strong is the man who can fart without distorting his inner strength.

If you feel weak and do not want to bother yourself with this exercise,
remember to pay attention what you eat before practice.  Speaking from
experience I can say that eating a sauerkraut meal beforehand will give you
more chance to exercise unification of mind and body than you dreamt of.

I will at this time not go into using a fart as an assault weapon.

See also:
  • Rio De Janeiro, Brazil, Earth
  • Defecation
  • Active Air
  • Baths, Unusual Use Of
  • Martial Animals
  • Weather, Influencing The

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